I want to, but I really can't.

There are some who say that you need to just have a good cry, and for the most part, I do whole heartedly believe that. There are moments when I just need to have my little pity party and then I can be done with and go about my day. These last few weeks tho, have been hard. I have not been able to throw myself my little pity party. I have wanted to cry and cry and cry but I can't let myself do it. I know most of my Navy wife friends have had their good cry and are now just ready for their guys to be home, but I have not allowed myself that luxury. So much has happened these past two and a half weeks that I am now at the point that I feel that if I let myself cry, then I won't be able to control myself. I have two small, little people who depend on me to maintain control and some semblance of sanity in their lives. There have been a few times that I have gotten choked up and a tear or two came out but I reeled it in and controlled it. It's the only thing I can do at this point. A few times a day, I sit and I wonder if I can get in the shower or go in the bedroom or somewhere for just a minute or two of quiet time, by myself, and have that good cry; but there never seems to be time for me to do that. I can let the day to day get to me. Even where I am now, I am questioning everything. If I'm not worried about my own personal life in WA; I am worrying if we are driving G&J crazy with Steven's 2-year-old-temper-tantrums. *le sigh* it's always something, isn't it?

but....
Zayda tried to giggle today and it was the cutest thing I've ever seen:)