1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."


I strongly dislike the fact that I have a short temper and no patience. It is always something that I am constantly working on. Especially now with both kids acting out and not sleeping so I am not, and I feel so displaced. I also have to try to not allow myself to feel like Jason does not think about me enough. I have to get my jealous eyes in check. I hate not feeling like I am the center of his universe. I have to force myself to start out every morning with a positive thought and a pray for guidance. I have to or I will lose control. I have to force myself t get through the day with a smile on my face even this I haven't slept for more then 2 hours at a time in a month because I have to, my kids deserve it. I have to feel like I am keeping my faith in God strong when the truth is I have questioned it recently. Positive thoughts, prayers and hopefully a nice thought from my husband are what gets me through the days now.

Philippians 4:6-7

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7

A friend remeinded me of this the other day and it does make you sit back and try to put things into perspective. There has been a lot of anxiousness going on lately, the large majority of it we can not help. It has really made me try to "let go and let God" but that is always much easier said then done.

I've been trying to rely on my faith this last several weeks, but finding it and holding it are hard to do without the one person who really taught you to do that in the first place. I miss listening to my husband pray for us, and our children. I don't know if Jason quite knows how much time I spend talking to God. It is almost a running dialogue...all day I speak with Him. I usually pray with both of our kids individually every night, asking Him to protect and watch over their daddy. The other night, during a particularly rough night, I held Zayda and prayed for 30 minutes to help me find the way to relieve some stress and not put so much pressure on myself because it was simply moving on to the kids; intuitive buggers that they are.

So these last couple days, especially, I have been trying to remember that God has a plan for us and we need to allow Him to make it happen. We have no control for what He wants us to do, we need to simply know that He knows what is best for us and follow His direction.


I love you Jason and we miss you.